Nine years in Australia

Jethro's take on his mummy: he took this 28th October 2013

Nine years ago, to the day, I arrived in Australia. It was a profound feeling. I was 41, and my life was starting over.

I remember Francis meeting me at the airport and feeling particularly awkward. I remember thinking that nothing could make him understand what was going on inside me, and that I wasn't going to try to explain. I was just going to get on with it.

I noticed that so many people leaving South Africa were running from something, and I wasn't. I was going TO something. I was going to a new life with a man I had met in Spain, learning Spanish. I was seriously starting again. Life was changing:
- from being single to being part of a couple
- from being well known to completely unknown.
 - from a life of dance and consulting to a life of little dance and no permission to work.
 - from years of experience to not being recognised for any experience.

I had left my home with four bedrooms plus a flat for a shared room in a shared unit. I had left being a landlady for being a partner of a renter. I had left a huge circle of family and friends and colleagues for a country where I knew one person well, two more people quite well, and about ten people vaguely. I had left the mountain and sea for the suburbs.
Instead of a house filled with belongings I had just one suitcase with my clothes and my cutlery (!). Instead of a car I was on foot.

Yes this was still 34 degrees South. Just not Cape Town. It was Sydney.

Some of this was apparent on the first day, and some only became apparent over time. Slowly but surely it sank in that I'd really taken this enormous step at 41. It was my sister-in-law's birthday and I wasn't there to celebrate it. Today, nine years later, it's her birthday again and I'm not there to celebrate it. But I am celebrating, instead, a nine-year journey to date.

I woke this morning thinking about the highlight of each year:
2004: Discovering the tango, flamenco, latino dance and music scene in Sydney and my first New Year's Eve fireworks over the Bridge and Opera House
2005:  A five day trip, alone and camping, to the heart-stopping beauty of New Zealand's South Island; buying our home in Heighway Avenue in Ashfield and joining Sing Australia
2006: Our wedding; visitors throughout that year from South Africa
2007: Being allowed to work. Restarting Making Things Work. Dancing Tango at Darling Harbour. 
2008: Magical trip to Europe with Francis
2009: Jethro was born. Becoming a mum at 46. Starting to work with social enterprises in earnest.
2010: Jethro's baby naming ceremony. Becoming an Ausralian Citizen. Taking Jethro to South Africa to meet the family.
2011: Marjorie's visit to Sydney; An African drumming course
2012: Moving to Oatley to the green and the blue of nature once again
2013: Marjorie in Sydney again. Embarking on the Key Person of Influence course and restarting my work as Beyond Win-Win.

And then, of course, there have been the annual highlights - Jewish high festivals on the North Short and the Eastern Suburbs, re-acquainting with cousins I knew as a child in South Africa, annual Christmas celebrations (the street party in Heighway Avenue, the Mother's Group party and the Chilean-Iranian-South African-Australian party each year), Chinese New Year and all the diversity type celebrations in Sydney. And lots, lots more.

Today I am celebrating a long journey that, in the scheme of things, is only just starting. It's amazing, though, that I've lived in Australian almost one fifth of my life. Just one more year and it will be a decade. Hah.

 

 

 

 

10 things you need to know if you move from Cape Town to Sydney

 Sydney is a pretty city, with the best food in the world from many nationalities. People live at peace with one another, even though they often stick to those they know and are not that welcoming of outsiders. You'll be safe here, but you have to work hard to fit in. Even though both cities are 34 degrees south, they are quite different. A bit of local knowledge might help. 

1. There is no mountain
And with that, no way of knowing which way you are facing. Amazing what you can discern from shadows if you work hard at it. You need to work out what season you are in, take into account the time of day, and then vaguely work out if the sun is north east or north west. It's not Table Mountain, but it works.

2. Flies like the inside of your mouth
Not only does Cape Town have very few flies, when they do appear, they like food. Not Sydney flies. They like the inside of your mouth. I know because I have eaten a fair few. Not on purpose, of course. What's good to know is that the Sydney flies are sluggish. My brother (yes, the famous Zapiro), used to pride himself in being the only person who could catch a fly on our kitchen table by grabbing it from behind. I kid you not. Sydney flies - hey - they move so slowly you hardly have to work to squash them. Go right ahead, I say.

3. Don't say "it was a thumbsuck"
In Cape Town if you are estimating something, it's a thumbsuck. You put your thumb in your mouth, pull it out quickly, make a popping noise and everyone knows you just guestimated the answer. Here, there's a strange look of disgust that crosses people's faces when you do that. I won't go into it. Just don't do it.

4. Don't say "holding thumbs"
Refer to number 3 above. I don't have to go into detail, but the same look crosses Sydneysiders' faces when you say "hold thumbs for me". In Cape Town, it means the same as "cross fingers" for me. Believe me - just ask people to cross fingers. You'll have a far better response!

5. Save hard to use public transport
Because the Rand is so abysmal next to the Aussie Dollar, there have to be some money tips in a blogpost like this. There's nothing more demoralising realising that your whole week's budget has been used on public transport. It's expensive in Sydney. I mean really expensive. In 2013 it costs $10 (or R100) to get a return to the city at peak times. Travel after 9am. Buy travel tens when you can (busses, ferries). And get an Opal Card as soon as you can. They are being phased in - but where you have occasion to be somewhere for less than an hour you are charged only one leg of a return journey. You can, for instance, travel to Town Hall, have a 50 minute meeting, and get back on the return train and you'll only be charged one way. In some cities there are free busses. Use them. Better still, walk.

6. Most great performers at festivals also have a free performances
Check it out. It's worthwhile. People pay $100's of dollars to see great performers (that's 1000's of Rands) when you can often catch them in free venues. Do your research

7. Check out and compare mobile plans
Talk about doing your research - work hard at finding a mobile plan that offers unlimited text and voice calls and a lot of data. It's the best investment you'll make. You can find all the cheap deals - and there are cheap deals for everything (almost).

8. Use 131500
This is a great get-everywhere-planner. You can dial it and speak to a real person or you can go to www.131500.com.au and feel completely cool about finding your way to anywhere. Times, modes of transport - it's all there.

9. Don't be demanding
South African have a reputation in Sydney for being incredibly pushy, entitled and just plain rude. There's a reason for this. We are. As a rule. We are too direct for most people living in Sydney. We are spoilt either because we were privileged in South Africa and have learnt to expect people to be there for our every whim, or we are demanding because we weren't privileged but we know what it is to have to ask for things to happen. By all means stick to your guns when expecting good service (not a high point in Sydney) or expecting people to be welcoming or whatever other reasonable expectation you have. But watch your body language and your way of speaking to people - there is a very strong "entitled-South-African-detector" in many Sydneysiders. The most frequent back-handed compliment I have received in Australia is "You're South African - and you're nice? How come?"

10. Hang out at the Opera House and surrounds
Sydney is known as being "up itself" - that's Australian for being too big for it's boots - in many ways. But the Opera House, and the harbour - they are just magic. Hang around at dawn, hang around in the middle of the day, hang around at night. Enjoy the Botanic Gardens and the fruit bats. Enjoy the fantastic walls that are shaped as benches. They're made to enjoy so enjoy them.  Specially at the Opera Bar. Yes, a drink could cost the same as a day's earnings - but hey - you only live once. And you can always consider how crazy some people are that they are paying $1000 for a bottle of bubbly - yep, that's R10,000 and enough to feed a village in Africa for a very, very long time. Yes, the contrast is crazy. It's First World, Third World stuff. And it never goes away (why do you think I work with social enterprise and creating beyond win-win solutions... that's another story).

Oh, and one more thing. People who live in Sydney are called Sydneysiders. Just good to know.